WeWriWa | CyberWorld: The Games

This week’s excerpt is a continuation of last week‘s, and talks more about the world in The CyberWorld. Enjoy reading!

I have heard tales, tales of people who disappeared mysteriously from their cells, never to return.
We are instructed to sit, become vegetables in front of our computers every day. They feed us stories, rumors delivered straight to our inboxes, of people dying, disappearing. It is clear to us that those instances will be us, if we do not follow their rules. So we do.
Games–I hate them; the CyberWorld residents are forced to play them, mindless agonies that the Creators must delight in. Each Game lasts for an hour. Twelve hours in a day; twelve games a day; every single day.

Blog Post, Idea, and Novel Excerpt © Sabrina Wolfheart & the Books and Bark blog ________________________________________________________________

So yet more world-building. It doesn’t read quite as nicely as I want it to, but a lot of that’s because of the rearranged punctuation. There’s quite a lot of world-building, when you think about it, but it’s necessary to the first few chapters and the readers’ knowledge. Her style kind of becomes repetitive, but I’m hoping the reader will be able to draw from that and learn about her character. A lot of the second chapter and end of the first concentrates on her as a character, and tells about her character’s backstory and past. For some reason, I always find my villains much more interesting than my main characters, possibly because they are so complex. I featured Bellatris, the villain of The CyberWorld in my character blog hop, instead of Breeze for this reason. This is pretty close to the end of the chapter, just a page or two left. My chapters are relatively long compared to most YA books I read, and I may cut them down or split them up. So anyways. I hope you enjoyed my week’s excerpts, and I apologize for my two-paragraph ramble. On a side note, I hope all of my scheduled blog posts have appeared on time… if they haven’t please tell me about it so I can fix the issue! 😀 Happy 8Sunday, 3A8DB1E7BA0250AE3943BB53945DC23F   Blog Post, Idea, and Novel Excerpt © Sabrina Wolfheart & the Books and Bark blog

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25 responses to “WeWriWa | CyberWorld: The Games

  1. This was a great snippet 😀 I’m not sure why you don’t like it so much XD It’s really creepy. I think one of the interesting things in dystopian or fantasy stories is the actual societies. I find it fascinating. It did not feel like an info dump. I think telling can be creative and sometimes even better than showing. I can’t write as much this week because my computer is out of commission for the weekend >_> The only thing that I would change is the part about vegetables. It’s kind of cliché and it’s used more so to describe people in a persistent vegetative state. Maybe something like drones would be better? And I’m curious what the games are. If they play it 12 hours a day, everyday. How is their society functioning? Is it only a few select people that are playing these games? Anyway, looking forward to next week 😀 I’ll be at a wedding on the other side of the country, so I may not see it for a while 😛

    • I feel like she’s not showing so much as telling, which bothers me. I don’t like stories that tell much, so maybe that’s why. I’m trying to make the paragraphs dynamic and interesting, so I don’t know if that’s happening… Glad it doesn’t feel like an info dump, though! 😀

      Oh, dear! I just saw that upon my return. I hope you can get a new laptop soon, or get yours fixed. And I can’t imagine all that data… I’ve never spilled around my laptop, either, so the concept is terrifying 😥 Best of luck 🙂

      Oh, whoops. I’ll change that. The one thing I am NOT going for in this story is cliché. 😛

      The Games are… well, I guess you’ll just have to wait to find out 😛 And yep, their society is very complex and weird. 😛

      Oh, have fun! We’ll all be here when you get back! 😀

    • Yep. I’m not a gamer either, even though I’m a geeky teen, and I don’t think I ever will be. I’m not quite sure where the Games came from, anyways. I just needed some stuff, so voila! I invented it! 😛

    • Glad you think so! It’s supposed to be torture, so that’s great! I’m glad you’re already getting a sense of Breeze’s voice. 😀 (I know I was just bumbling about when I wrote this. 😛 )

  2. World building is fun! Especially when your voice is interesting and reading the information and descriptions doesn’t get boring. That takes quite some writing skill 😛 Thanks for sharing, I enjoyed it 🙂

  3. Pingback: WeWriWa | The CyberWorld: Fury | Books and Bark·

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