I HAVE VERY MIXED FEELINGS ON BOOKSHELVES.
I realized this this morning when I woke up and found myself looking at my bookshelf (it has been placed near the foot of my bed for greatest bookish pleasure), and realized I DON’T LIKE BOOKSHELVES AT ALL but then I LOVE BOOKSHELVES.
I am a very odd bookworm. Therefore, I have decided to take a census… of my own feelings in the form of a list (and, you know, I GUESS you could share your opinions if you desperately wanted to).
SO. The PROS of having bookshelves:
- Now your books won’t be all over the floor! Or on your heads! Or covering your desks! We bookworms are a very odd species and don’t really know of good places to keep books. Often I just try to keep them with me for their own personal safety and end up lugging around 20 pounds of bookish wonderfulness.
- THEY’RE PRETTY. I like pretty things. Also bookish things. (But not shiny things. Shiny things are just… too shiny. ‘Nuff with the shiny.)
- They make it easy to hide large quantities of books. See, when your books are stacked on their sides (like the ones on some of my desks and things are), they appear larger to Buggles (read: non-bookworms; ones without a drop of bookish blood in their veins) and hence a bookworm may get away with buying MORE books, usually at the cost of the aforementioned Buggle’s wallet.
- Buggles find it easier to view you as a normal person. ‘Tis true, I am afraid. Buggles, they’re odd creatures for a bookworm to behold.
- You can easily hide villainous artifacts in the back of the shelf between two books, with no one the wiser. See? Lord Voldemort would have been so much better off if I had been his chief advisor.
- BOOKS = DECORATION. Well, um, duh. FOR BOOKWORMS. For many Buggles, the concept of “books as decoration” and not “ripped-up books with their pages mutilated into odd shapes or their covers framed on the wall” is a new and exciting concept. AND BOOKSHELVES MAY MAKE THIS COME TRUE in a normal-looking and societally-accepted manner.
And now the CONS of having bookshelves (because I am a pessimist and like to end on sad and dark lists):
- They could fall on you. Now, this is VERRRYYYYY serious. Especially if you (like me) tend to have very tall bookshelves that could crush you from halfway across the room. Also, if you live near a faultline. Or just anywhere you get natural disasters, really. I have many books on my bookshelf. So remember: when with bookshelves, earthquakes = pancakes. (And no, I’m not excruciatingly proud of myself for coming up with that.)
- Thou shalt cry when thy books are not the same length. Books that are not the same length should be made illegal. Seriously. Do you know how hard it is to suddenly have a book change SIZE and not be able to place it next to the book you wanted to place it next to? DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW HARD IT IS TO CREATE A NERDY BOOK AESTHETIC WHEN THE BOOKS YOU PAIR TOGETHER DO NOT GO TOGETHER BECAUSE THE BOOKS ARE NO LONGER THE SAME LENGTH? DO YOU FEEL MY PAIN?! I shall stop shouting now.
- The pain of deciding between pretty and books. I FOR ONE DO NOT UNDERSTAND HOW SO MANY BOOKLRS HAVE SO MUCH SPACE FOR THINGS OTHER THAN BOOKS. Have you ever looked up the #shelfie tag on Tumblr?! Because you should. Because there are some ridiculously wondrous bookshelves out there.
- How to organize?! Because sometimes your books are not the same length as the bookshelves. Meaning, they do not fill up the space from bottom-of-the-shelf to top-of-that-same-shelf so then you have this oddly empty space and it’s oppressive and saddening. And also sometimes you want to rainbow-organize your books but then the series will get separated BUT THEN it’ll look so pretty and OH decisions are difficult.
- THEY’RE SO UGLY. AND EXPENSIVE. AND TIME-CONSUMING. So I know it seems like I’m directly contradicting myself from what I said in bullet no. 2 of the “pros,” but this is a serious issue. Sometimes they are quite ugly. Like, do you know how much a good, PRETTY bookshelf costs? And how much time and effort and energy goes into making it prettyful? I think I actually made a mistake combining all of this into one bullet point, but alas. We all make mistakes.